Two blackened eyes

Guy shows up at work with two black eyes. His friend says "What happened I thought you quit drinking and were going to church?" The man says "I was at church.  The woman in front of me her dress was stuck up in her butt crack.  So I tugged on her hem to get it out. She turned and whacked me in the head." The friend laughs "How'd you get that other black eye?" The man says "When I saw how upset she got, I decided to tuck it back in."