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11/26/2014

The perfect way to say you're afraid to make a commitment.

Frozen Han Solo chocolate mold.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e845/



Have you ever met someone and you get the feeling they have the wrong impression of you.  You can tell they think you're wonderful and you know you would never be able to hold up under scrutiny.  Well here is the perfect way to make your case, define your boundaries, and shape your destiny.

11/25/2014

Vinyl decals on a sign near Winco


Dookie the Men's Warehouse model
"You're gonna like the way you look" George Zimmer


Weeping Statue icon decal
Yo, I'll intercede for you.


Post apocalyptic Marty Feldman


11/23/2014

If you want to look like stylish Baboon with a Jesus complex use Pert

This strange Shampoo ad
-reminds me of a joke-

What do you get if you puts nuts on a wall?  Walnuts
What does get if you put nuts on a chest?  Chestnuts
What do you get if you put nuts on a chin?  A dick in the mouth


11/22/2014

Nothing brings out the dirt bags like the Holidays

Had a dirt bag fill up a bag of goodies and ran out the door.  Thank God for Prop 47 he can be home for the Holidays.  He ran to a brand new car.  It's heartwarming the downtrodden can live well in California.

11/21/2014

Inuit woman claims she was never sexually abused by Bill Cosby!

by  on 21/11/14 at 2:43 pm

http://satireworld.com/us-news-headlines/201411211443/inuit-woman-claims-she-was-never-sexually-abused-by-bill-cosby/

puss by the pound (lb)


Eating corn and the second chance still life.

When someone sees an image of Jesus or Mary in a sandwich or a tree stump it makes headlines.  What about all the lesser known saints and deities with nameless faces that show up in casseroles, and mineral deposits.  Are we so well trained that we allow ourselves to acknowledge only what an editor approves. Expecting the masses to see photoshopped images as real, wanting to desensitize the intellect through an elusive meat grinder.  It's like the person who corrects your grammar.  They don't want others to learn they want others to think their way of communicating is superior.  Even people who communicate in slang want others to think they are superior by being clever, and so on with various languages.  It is my right to not understand.  Without a solid foundation the unraveling is quick.

I saw Cthulhu in my corn fritter but I ate it.

11/17/2014

Accessible Behavior Modification

I've been noticing adults with whining children.  They allow their kids to go on and on with their irritating sniveling.  I'm thinking it is some new Dr. Spock type pop psychology technique.  Where you allow a child to control absolutely everything within their immediate space for as long as they need to feel in control.
I heard a woman tell a child keep whining that's how I know you are still there.  Implying she didn't have to watch the child.  Also implying the woman had control over everyone nearby to be able to force them into her idiotic reality.

I recently told a child to get away from me if he was going to continue to cry.  Which made him cry harder and louder.  I got up and walked away within a matter of seconds, without an audience, the child stopped crying and whining.  His mother was horrified by my behavior and told me her son had a diagnosis.  I told her I don't care that is not my reality.  I told her what my reality was at that current moment.   She had no more comments for me. It brought up an interesting point.  Is there a pecking order of diagnoses.  Does one trump another.  Let's say one person is diagnosed with OCD does ADD have a higher ranking and can it force a person with OCD to not be able to play their card until the next round?  Also is there a diagnosis for having an internal BS meter that makes a person have a Tourette like reaction to blurt out things like you lying. manipulative little shit.  Better still is there a diagnosis for an enabling parent that has been ill advised on how to help their children develop healthy emotions.  

11/16/2014

Can't force either side to reconcile

People In Cars Ignoring Hitchhikers and Their Dog

This piece was too controversial to put in the art show.  What was the controversy you ask?
The picture shows too many cracks in a California State Highway and it would give a bad impression about the State of California and how they use the gas tax.

Environmentalist John Muir: Too Stale, Pale, and Male for Vibrant-Americans


http://www.unz.com/isteve/environmentalist-john-muir-too-stale-pale-and-male-for-the-vibrant/

reminds me of a joke:

A Priest goes camping. While hiking into camp he encounters a Bear.  The Priest prays:
"God let it be a Catholic bear."  The bear approaches and says: "Bless us oh lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our lord . Amen"

The Park Service meeting with Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, La Raza, Islamic leaders, and Gloria Steinem to re-educate bears.  Through funding provided by World Economic Forum, and the U.S.D.A promoting the health benefits of eating White (male) Meat.

nineteen

20, twonny-one, twonny-two, twonny-three...30, thirdy-one, thirdy-two,

noticing how I don't pronounce words correctly after thinking too long

Camp (to sleep or dream)

Last night while driving to and from work I noticed an unusual number of people wandering around along the roadways.  This morning I find this article: 

RIVERSIDE: Campout to raise awareness about homelessness


A group of college students wanting to experience one night of homelessness.  I'm sure their hearts are in the right place but I think it might have been more productive to get a homeless person to experience a safe stable home with indoor plumbing than a group of friends sleeping outside.  I think the most interesting street person I saw last night was a guy riding a BMX bike carrying a shoulder bag and an 8 foot PVC pipe, near the orange groves.  I thought of Don Quixote and how far civilization can carry us in our fantastical lives.

Genesis for dogs

I bit into an apple it had a weird flavor.  Upon further inspection several of the seeds within the core had sprouted.  I put it into a planter outside to see how far the apple seeds would grow.  One of my dogs has taken a keen interest in the apple core and digs it up and lays down next to it.  I'm starting to wonder if a talking snake has convinced my dog he should take a bite.

dog- What do you mean I can't lick my privates in public anymore?
talking snake- Just pretend like you don't know.