10/18/2021

Famous Last Words


 

Famous Last Words

This is my new cartoon debut. It's based on a game I used to play way back when. Not ready to give out all those details just yet. Anyhow there are times in life that the elements come together and create a little gem. In rockhounding there is a term called a leaverite. Basically someone finds a rock and they ask "what is this?" The response is "That's a leaverite' (meaning leave 'er right there). 
The basis of this cartoon is odd things I've heard people say that perfectly summed up how they presented themselves to the world. Also those favorite parts, from a movie, a book, or a song, a fragment that stays with you. Like a sparkle that draws your eye to a place. I don't know if I'll be inspired to make more, who knows...

10/16/2021

Spinach quiche

 https://www.onceuponachef.com/recipes/spinach-quiche.html#tabbox 

I made this and am happy with the result. I also learned if you put egg on the exposed pie crust it keeps it from burning. 


Update: Oct 29, 2021
I made this recipe today using 4 egg whites. It turned out good. 


10/05/2021

Wanting the reaction, but not the conversation...?

 Yesterday a trip to the store. A man was agitated having to wait in line. He was making loud comments trying to get the other customers to join in his dissatisfaction at having to wait. No one reacted. While I was putting my cart away he went to his vehicle which was parked next to the cart returned. He said the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The conversation that followed was chaotic and contradictory. He started talking about his boss and how smart he is because he assumes everyone is lazy. I said he sounds like an asshole. He said "well here we are, God bless you" What didn't make sense is how this guy was aggressive and opinionated, but allowed himself to be subjected to a boss, that demanded full throttle employees.  What stuck with me after the encounter is how abrasive, and noncommital communicating is in California.  It has the cadence of now! now! now! hurry up do something, okay that's enough stop bothering me. After all that nothing is said, no conclusions can be drawn. It leaves one feeling like they should check for their wallet, or see what time and date it is, like you've experienced a mothership abduction. It leaves one with a horrifying feeling like being suddenly traumatized. I can say with certainty trying to slow down the exchange brings about more catastrophic details that lessen the chance of finding the truth. Especially when getting to the truth the charade must first play out its course. I watch this cycle repeatedly. People get stuck in their charade, it comforts them. Like hiding under a blanket from the monster under the bed. If you can't see it, it can't see you.  


9/30/2021

9/09/2021

Military vehicle accident on the 215

Just up the road, South from where this truck flipped is an energy vortex. I learned about it years ago.



9/05/2021

When will it be realized

 The answer you are seeking, with a question you don't ask,  created your delusional thinking.

9/04/2021

 Aug 28 2021 about 9am a street sweeper turned around in front of my place. It sounded like it was running badly, like a few dead cylinders. A street sweeper on a dirt road was odd so I remembered the incident. A youngish female passenger babbled in the passenger seat. A older male driving. Last evening around 7pm a silver pickup with a matching shell turned around in front of my place. The same couple the same mannerisms in a different vehicle.

Another vehicle drove by several times windows down music playing. The driver hit the brakes in shock seeing a person standing watching him drive by.

Neighbor looking over the fence into my yard. When questioned said because a lost cat.

Cactus flowers have no name




 

9/01/2021

The bot responds to the Magic 8 ball


 

Social engineered news and televised imaginary reality

When I watch television. I process the presentation and nothing ever is resolved as the truth. Creating characters that could be viewed as normal everyday people. Falls flat on me because of my life experience with people. I never see the actual human nature acted out. Is it bad acting?or bad writing? The one thing that is for certain, none of it is truth. Is it possibly a reenactment?. I don't believe that. A creative writing experiment is how it comes across. By the talent show winner who's sister was friend's with the judge.

If actual people stories were being presented we'd see the unscripted dirty secrets of humans struggling their way through life. We would see the absolute desperation. How people really act, I can guarantee is never part of the social engineer math equation. The x and y variables are the manipulation. Not actual human nature, but the desired result is built into the problem. Monkey see monkey do, lead by example, a suggestion.

8/30/2021

Bible verse New American Standard Bible

 1 John 3:13 

Do not be surprised, brothers and sisters, if the world hates you.


King Snake on August 26, 2021

 


See the human kindness

At 2:04 begins the incident. How the guys around him react is remarkable. They help him up and give him another try. 




 

 

Check this out:

Pretend like the people waiting in line are burgers on a grill cooking. If the cook only tended to the left side of the grill the right side would have burned. Setting off the alarm.  The customer who is yelling is the alarm.
When faced with fire and an alarm, most people would first try to put out a fire. To focus solely on stopping the alarm and let the fire burn I don't think would be the typical response. 


***notice he says if I drive my car...and I was just walking by. Makes this encounter questionable***

 

8/27/2021

Pattern verification

 Noticing how people operate from a framework. The mental dilemma comes out, but the person trapped within the performance believes their insecurities are undetectable. Because the framework creates their stage and is built to showcase desired reactions. The reality is verified by reactions.  Verifying reactions based on the people who are susceptible, gives a false sense of certainty. Being certain this reality is real seems to be important more important than truth. If truth becomes an obstacle that needs to be concealed. What follows is the established pattern of  delusion. It brings comfort to the deluded because it appears to confirm, like the framework that has been built, a reality.

8/25/2021

Smiley face leaf

Some sort of critter chewed a smiley face into  this leaf


 

Safety. Hazard.

Went into Hemet Monday night. The new median on Hwy 74, has created a few road hazards. People strolling across the lanes, not in a hurry. I think they feel safe because the center island. Two seperate incidents of people dressed in dark clothes casually crossing a dark highway. The other hazard; cars driving on the shoulder toward oncoming traffic with their headlights off. I'm thinking they were taking the short cut home so they don't have to go to the median turn out which is a 1/4 mile up the road from their driveway.  Turning off the headlights so they don't look like they are a wrong way driver (ahem). 

8/19/2021

Balancing the imbalance

 The address on our fence had one of the numbers hanging upside down because a nail fell out. It has been hanging upside for the past several months. This week someone bent the upside down number to wedge it into place so it stays upright. They must have drove by one too many times and it was bugging them so they had to fix the imbalance. 

8/17/2021

Dragonflies

 Had 25ish dragonflies flying about this morning. Birds flying over. I even noticed an emerald figeater beetle. I heard its slow stead hum.  Next I get a phone call from SCE (power co.) saying we are experiencing a power outage at this address. Next I got an email detailing the outage, but the power never went off.




8/13/2021

Necklace eyeball

Made an eyeball necklace


 

More plant jewelry

 


Nature speaking

 Last night my son heard an owl hooting. It was loud and consistent. He went outside to look for the owl. When he got outside he notice dark smoke on the ridge line. The smoke...I look on the Riv Co fire incidents website to see the location. There wasn't a listing for this area. I called the local fire dept. To see if anyone reported it yet. No one had called in. My call alerted them there was a fire. I thought it was interesting because it was the owl making a racket near my son's window. He went out because of the owl. Nature looking out and communicating. It took on a spiritual aspect when I found out no one else had called in to report the fire.

8/11/2021

More cabachon eyeballs

 Looking for color combos that look interesting together 



Reptile eyeball cabachon (planter jewelry)

What I did with one of the cabachon eyeball's.
I suppose I could call it planter jewelry. 
The frog is basking in the glow of the protective eyeball.
The plants seem to like it.




 

Armadillo Oompah-pah

 I drew a picture of an Armadillo who became an accordion, to play lively music.



Liars want to get caught to keep lying

 When a person lies efficiently and people believe the lies. The liar feels the emptiness and needs to create a scenario to get caught. The liar getting caught isn't what they are seeking. The liar wants to fill the emptiness. Using the lie creates a false sense of human interaction, the emptiness remains. Why is that?  The liar wants to be able to continue lying.

8/10/2021

What denial creates

She started speaking. Relaying information. It was like an update. Just the highlights of a recent event. It was a one sided conversation. It didn't have any of the hi, how are you's. It wasn't a conversation. It was never a conversation. It is like how people talk to a person in a coma. Spending time but not relating to a person. That is how her family dealt with her. Not because there was a physical or mental health condition. There had always been a disconnect. The lingering effects of deep denial. The many failed attempts at trying to break through the invisible wall. Each failed attempt seemed to reinforce the denial. Making it seem believable. That was the goal, believability and not having to admit to feeling loneliness, fear, abandonment. The denial kept the emotions from  forming into sensations. 

Thoughts produced by sleeping

 I was asked if I've ever used a personal ad to meet someone.  I said no. The convo included several people. A few were laughing about an unheard joke. I was trying to collect my belongs to leave. One of the people involved needed a ride home. Out of nowhere a person requires I leave immediately with them and my next realization is I'm walking though a poorly lit mall. Without being able to see the natural world outside I couldn't orient to the time of day, or the season.  I headed toward what seemed like brightness but it didn't reveal an exit. I walked back toward a dark corridor. Found the door to the outside. Like a typical dream moving around and being here or there doesn't always follow a chronological order. Somehow I ended up where I started with a different group of people talking about familiar topics that seemed to make sense, but I didn't know any of the people. I got word about the person I was supposed to give a ride to, was waiting at a restuarant, that had recently moved to a new location. It was daytime but there was no traffic. The restuarant was on what seemed to be an old farm on a dirt room. I found a place to park but couldn't find the entrance. I walked up a staircase thinking if I had an overview I could get a better perspective. It wasn't helpful. When I tried to go down the stairs I was blocked by two humongous cows. I climbed over the rail and jumped to the path I figured would lead to the entrance. When I turned the corned I was at the back of the building. I decided to leave. While driving on the dirt road I noticed a rock cluster. It looked like a drawing, that was outlined with thick lines around the pile of rocks but it didn't have a framed border of where that image ended and the natural world began. An adjustment to the eyes and the thought process to realize it was strange and impossible. 

The dream seemed to be about me not knowing people and places. The familiar topics and places. The people seem like people I know, but I really don't know them for various reasons. Me trying to comply with strange demands that have no purpose. Places that don't have usable or accesible features. Tasks that don't begin or end just left with a feeling of unending uncertainty, and unsolved requirements. 

8/07/2021

A metal pole

 This story is layers of information that create more questions.

It first caught my attention when it mentioned the guy came back with a metal pole. While driving through San Bernardino years ago. I saw a guy chase and attack someone with a metal pole in a liquor store parking lot. It was like watching a low budget martial arts movie. I think it was an aluminum tent pole. So that is one type of metal pole. The other type of metal pole would be a Pollack who likes heavy metal. The visual of the guy being told to leave and later comes back with a heavy metal Polish dude, and he gets shot by an armed security guard hired to protect a diner. A diner. Where people buy cheeseburgers and fries. He probably asked to use the bathroom. The story goes on to say he was in a wheelchair, but could spontaneously be healed and walk like he had Benny Hinn on speed dial. In all seriousness the guy was shot and died, a wild ending. A metal pole. \m/ \m/






8/05/2021

Pondering the recipe review

 I was reading recipe comments to see if anyone had ingredient substitution ideas on a recipe. Some of the  people commenting poured out their feelings into their review. One shared the recipe reminded her of a meal she had on an airplane. Another spoke longingly of wishing she could have added the  jalapenos, but because of her children, she would never know that spicy deliciousness. Another told of how she put the dish together before church. One pointed out the proportions of the ingredients, saying it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack to find the main ingredient because of the 4 bell peppers on the list. 

Most of the comments were about pleasing a husband, or a family gobbling up the meal. The comments tinged with memories or resentments, made me wonder if the writers were real people, or writers using the forum to develop a character idea. So I thought of what character I could develop using the recipe review.

The suicidal comedian. This will be my last meal. If I time this right my autopsy stomach content reveal will look like a kaleidoscope. 



7/30/2021

Today's quote by me

 Inspired by an email conversation with my dear friend.

We are talking about being who we are. Laughing about the bizarre stories we've been told by pathological liars we've known. Updating our past selves with the wisdom of our current selves. 

Here is the quote:


"Why waste a wish on the past."



Officers arrest gunman outside Baxter Regional Medical Center in Mountain Home, Ark

 https://www.ky3.com/2021/07/29/officers-arrest-gunman-outside-baxter-regional-medical-center-mountain-home-ark/

7/28/2021

Monday drive to Riverside

 Monday I went for a trip out of town. While waiting for the red light.  The driver of a truck in front of us tossed an empty coffee cup out the window into the bed of the truck. It flew up turned over and stuck lid down on top of the cab roof. The man was watching to see the cup pass the back window. When he didn't he got out to investigate. It was too far over for him to reach from his side and the passenger wasn't budging. He got back in and pulled the truck to the shoulder. He found a stick to flip it into the bed.  When we passed I said out the window. That awesome how it landed. He smiled and went back to his life.

It looked like it had a magnet inside the cup how to hit and gripped to the metal.

7/27/2021

7/25/2021

In their blind spot

 The relationship ended, it's an all too familiar experience. Everything going along fine until I step into their blind spot. If I speak about what I see in their blind spot the chaos is created. If I try to speak quickly I'm told to calm down, If I try to speak plainly I'm told I'm seeking attention, and quickly ignored. If I present it as humor, I'm called crazy. If I say nothing, I'm called difficult. Is there a way to create the space for a meaningful conversation to happen. I don't think it is impossible, or even rare. I just happen to notice it most in people when it exists, but not when it doesn't.

7/18/2021

Spat

Nike Sues Apex One Over Trademark 

 RICHARD GREEN January 10, 1994  

Article source: https://apnews.com/

 https://apnews.com/article/863a3be7c0d538cbc6f218f96380c575


PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) _ Nike has filed a false advertising and trademark infringement lawsuit against Apex One, alleging NFL players under contract to the New Jersey shoe manufacturer are pasting that company’s logo on Nike shoes.


Nike, in a lawsuit filed Friday in U.S. District Court in New Jersey, claims that Apex One is providing stickers of its logo to its contract players in the NFL. Nike says many players wear Nike shoes but place stickers on the shoes to make them look like Apex footwear.


Use of such stickers, called ″spatting,″ has become common practice, said Keith Peters, a spokesman for Beaverton, Ore.-based Nike.


″What’s apparent is that some of the players who are being paid by Apex would prefer to wear our shoes,″ Peters said. ″I guess it’s because they prefer the way our shoes perform.″


Apex called the suit without merit.


″After reviewing Nike’s complaint, the issues relative to spatting and painting logos on tape are, quite frankly, too insignificant for us to respond to,″ said Apex chief executive officer Joseph Kirchner.


″Given Nike’s recent economic performance, one would expect that Nike would have greater concerns than what a few NFL players allegedly have on their feet,″ he said.


Apex spokesman David Venneri said he knew of no instance when a player under contract to Apex used the company’s stickers on Nike shoes.


Apex is the official supplier of football shoes to the NFL. Nike and Reebok have agreements as authorized suppliers. That means no team can have more than 10 players with recognizable Nike logos on their shoes in any given game. Reebok also can have 10. Apex can have the rest.


In 1991, the same federal court ordered Apex One to not allow its players to alter Nike shoes. That case arose late in the 1991 season when Jim Kelly of the Buffalo Bills altered his Nike shoes with an Apex One sticker, Peters said.


Photographs of NFL play obtained by Nike show that sticker alteration has taken place. He said Nike shoes are so distinctive that it is easy to tell them from Apex shoes despite the sticker.


The new lawsuit against Apex seeks $1 million in punitive damages, another cease and desist order and an unspecified share of any Apex profits.


NFL Properties sent a notice to general managers earlier this year warning that the only spatted logo that would be allowed would be the one that belongs to the shoe’s manufacturer.


7/17/2021

Archway, arcade

 Arches the story I was told of how the arch developed in human history, It was said to be a gradual process. However it makes much more sense that knowledge is a simultaneous event. That way it can activate emotions. Envy, greed, fear, rage, justice, fairness, reason. The idea of hiding knowledge only to be discovered by the worthy. Is it true anyone can manifest anything, by any means?  What is worthwhile or worthy? If it doesn't matter and anyone can manifest anything there is no need to lie. 

To some lying is what makes gravity function, to tell the truth would cause them to float out into space and vanish. The most peculiar are the lies told by those who claim to worry about  the wrath of God. 

The arch creates a boundaried space for the purpose of remembering something? Something that was already in existence? How to create something that is already there? Remembering after being forgotten?

7/15/2021

Reality sharing is complex but not impossible.

The setting for a shared reality. Trust is a major factor, being able to trust, being trustworthy. 

Next is the quality of the reality. Different people have different needs to consider calling something real. 

Trying to create an environment that cultivates reality sharing. 

Talking to the lie. Accepting a person's lies to help them live within the reality they have for you can facilitate getting to the topics that need to be resolved. Like why they need to lie. Most relationships don't get past this phase. It is such a rare occurrence, I think the average human life span isn't long enough for most people to come to terms with themselves. 

Funny book titles. (people playing around with images and perceptions)

















7/11/2021

Nature in the real world, of a spiritual nature

 On the way out of town earlier today. We saw a deer, mom and baby in the trees planted along the roadside. It felt spiritual, because it isn't common place to see deer in the area. The mom looked like she in the process of standing after resting in the shade.  On the drive back through on the way home. I could see how difficult it is to see something in that tree line. That is when I began to take on a spiritual meaning.

7/08/2021

Three's

Lying will get you:

An inability to reason, no growth. Lying will get you.

Nothing

Do you remember how this never happened? Do you remember? Because I remember nothing happening. I remember all the times nothing ever happened. Now you are saying it is my fault. You are wanting me to be responsible for nothing. You aren't saying that. In fact you aren't saying nothing. So here we are back to nothing. I did nothing

There is no equal =

Making it obvious there's a problem.

Making it impossible to solve.

Outside myself there is no connection.

People don't say things like that about me.

I'll never know what they see.

She is sad, she is angry, she is lonely. She is trying to get attention, she talks too much, she is too quiet. She needs to learn to sit still.

Do it my way or else. Or else? Yes I'll make up a lie you can't prove.

I'll ruin your favorite item. If I have to hit you I will. Or I'll get someone else to hit you.

Do it my way

solve the problem use the equal sign.

7/01/2021

Shark bites Boy Scout

 I saw a news item with an interview on ABC 7 Los Angeles. The troop was at Camp Emerald Bay. The news station interviewed the teen. He explained they were trying to catch up to the group of other kayakers by taking a short cut through an area thick with kelp. He said he felt like his paddle hit something solid. He looked into the water. Noticed his paddle was gone, and saw his hand was bleeding. Said "it looked pretty gnarly".  The Troop is out of Riverside Calif. The first time I heard the song Baby Shark was at a Boy Scout event. I'm sure the Troop will be singing the Baby Shark song in memory of this Summer Camp.

6/28/2021

Frontier fixing the wires.


The pole was replaced in October of 2019. 
20 months later the tangle of wires was dealt with.


 

6/23/2021

Insidious California Govenor laughs about man arrested for saying hello? (Protocols for humanity)

 https://dailyreuters.com/gavin-newsom-assaulted-in-oakland-jokes-people-have-different-ways-of-saying-hello/

Newsom was on a trip to promote small businesses. As he walked into Beastmode Barbershop and Graffiti Pizza, he was”approached by an aggressive individual,” Fran Clader, communications manager for the California Highway Patrol (CHP), said in a statement.

“Members of the Governor’s security detail removed the Governor in the situation and the individual was arrested by CHP officers,” she continued.

 

Newsom did not appear to be injured, and colleagues didn’t see what happened, according to the East Bay Times. Reporters on the scene just saw the CHP, which offers security for your governor, detain the defendant. Newsom reportedly joked that”different people have different methods of saying hello,” according to the paper.

Mandatory normal

 How much socialization is required to be considered officially normal?

Immunity doesnt mean everyone


6/19/2021

Yes today, yesterday

When yes is used to be agreeable so the layers and depth of meaning can continue to expand. Being able to heal from the damage of confusion. Confusion created from envy, greed, lack of concern, and denial. Using yes to disagree with all that. Yes to acknowledging the problem, and at the moment becoming disagreeable by saying yes.

6/18/2021

The situation

Grieving the loss of people still living, that aren't interested in having a healthy relationship.  Making it impossible to resolve even the simplest part of this relationship. It is me that is not being accepted. I'm letting go of trying to understand this. 

Making light of a situation

 





6/17/2021

Unbelieveable

The certificate was withheld 3 years. Not sure why out of the blue the decision was made to send it now.  Inside the package was an offer that expired in 2018. Everytime I think the bag of tricks is empty. Again I'm wrong there is a never ending supply of fucked up bullshittery.

6/14/2021

Police are looking for a man (Noahide Law)

 https://pix11.com/news/crime/man-threatens-makes-anti-semitic-comments-toward-jewish-man-in-brooklyn/


The suspect approached a 30-year-old Jewish man and made threats and antisemitic comments to him, according to police.

No injuries were reported and the NYPD’s Hate Crime Task Force launched an investigation into the incident.

6/11/2021

When i put myself in someone elses shoes give it try next time you're at a thrift shop with used shoes

 It's like I think the topic is about one thing. What is being heard in their head is alarm sirens *waa waa* security breach ego exposed *defend* *defend*...begin diversion assault

6/10/2021

Tracking the effects of a lie

A lie is told and the effects are monitored. If a person operating under the influence of a lie is monitored and discernable data retrieved, the conclusions have to account for the deception. This is the problem with human nature experiments. Trying to determine outcomes based on trickery. It doesn't include a place for the spiritual nature of humans. 
The people running the experiment are afraid of the spiritual nature of humankind.  That will never be written into the data reports. The data will remain classified not because it is sensitive data. The data is hidden to keep the deep primitive fear beneath the surface of those who run the experiment(s).

6/08/2021

Winning as losers

How can you win with dignity in a system based upon corruption?

if then else

When the government runs operations to control the populace. When the government ignores the fact it runs operations to control the populace it takes no responsibility for the troubles this model creates. The objective becomes clear. Create meaningless problems. Offer illusive solutions. Gather data, have products available on time for holiday festivities.

Computer language being used to program humans.

6/07/2021

predicting the ambiguity of foreknowledge

 I didn't know what I was witnessing at the time these incidents happened. I still don't understand what I was being shown. Seperate occasions and involving different people. It is the similarities that I'm now remembering.

One instance I arrived at work went to put my belongings into the locker I happened to notice someone cleared out the refrigerator. At the top were several slices of pizza. I clocked in and went about my work day. I went on break, a coworker came into the break room and happily told me there is some pizza in the fridge. She was extremely happy telling me.  

The other incident at a different work place. I noticed a coworker pulled a paper towel out of the trash can. He smoothed it out. I got distracted by something work related. Later the guy with the paper towel is offering to share slice of orange with me. It was sitting on a paper towel. Looked like the one he had removed from the trash can. He was very eager to share his snack.

One more story. I was at school. I had noticed someone had put leftover cake into the trash can next to a table in a common area outside the classroom.  At break I noticed a guy eating the cake. He asked if wanted some. 

Each time had I not seen the items first inside the trash can. I would have figured I was dealing with human kindness.  Because of the common intial encounter (knowing where an item had been) I was forced into a thought dilemma. None of this was I prepared to deal with. I didn't know how to sort through the thoughts it brought up. Not only did the behavior repeat itself in different people.  Each time I was shown the oddity very clearly.  


6/03/2021

moon raker

 Feeling like I'm in a different galaxy. One that doesn't share molecules with the galaxy where my physical body is located. I have no way to communicate with the life forms here.

6/02/2021

(GPS) global positioning system

I always thought this was a mapping and navigation system. 
I've learned it is a generalized location system. In other words it gets you in the general area of a location. The systems that claim to pinpoint a location are as good as the data they use. For example looking for a physical address GPS will get to an area.  Finding the location is dependent on specific and accurate data.  It because obvious there is a problem when comparing delivery services. The USPS find addresses, UPS finds addresses. FedEx, Wal-Mart, and the numerous delivery services rely solely on GPS apps that get them into the general area. Even ignoring the posted address numbers for a physical address. The delivery service will leave a package in the general area.  The fine tuning falls into the not my job, not my problem. Corporations will only communicate with the public through the court system. Delivery problems will continue in areas that don't have clarified coordinates.

6/01/2021

5/29/2021

It was spoken and suddenly it wasn't

I was in a situation with a group of people. When I wasn't around they spoke out me being irrepairbaly mental ill.  Recently I was in regular contact with this group and the conversation was always controlled, minimal, and repetitive. Even though the conversation was repetitive the information was insufficient in details to create a visual understanding of what was actually being spoken about.  8 months of this brought to the surface a truth. This truth got dumped on me to sort through.  I am now expected to understand. The problem from my stand point is I'm expected to understand without anyone having to say one word about what is happening, what happened, or didn't happen. I'm to continue being around this group of people who don't want to hear me say anything. Don't want me around them. I'm supposed to be subject to whatever whim the group feels entitled to. I don't think it is too much to ask this group to model for me how to do this. I'm wanting them to demonstrate their standards for me. I want them to show me a working model of how this functions. From the outside it is easy enough to point a finger at me and call me difficult.  I find their silence on the matter no different than being in a conversation with them talking about nothing.  
The bigger picture is there is no reason to change anything when the group is getting all their needs met. The only reason to include me in the group is to ignore me. 
 

5/27/2021

Cat powers up attack


 

Trying to solve problems that were created to not be solved. The reason for the nonsense, is to hide. The confusion morphs into more confusion. Using a checklist of human behavior the remedy emerges. Society obviously isn't based on conflict resolution. People who add to the chaos get rewarded. People get paid to create chaos. People get paid to set the foundation to allow chaos to exist. Others get paid to promote this set up as true. Humans have a spirit it's a package deal. Intrinsically our body mind and spirit are truth meters. 

5/26/2021

come on common knowledge

 I've been watching videos about narcissism and surviving narcissistic abuse. From the information I've gathered I can see there are patterns of behavior that accompany unresolved mental health stages of development. This is true whether a person has been diagnosed or not. If you are stuck in a stage of development you are going to act in predictable ways. To become mentally healthy it is a requirement to pass through developmental milestones.



5/25/2021

mentally vague

If you really don't understand why do you use a strategy to get information. The concept of a little lie. The concept of a little truth. A little truth reveals. A little lie conceals.

It doesn't matter how or why when you have no integrity. Your actions are hidden. So nothing happened. There's nothing to talk about, there's nothing to see. There's nothing to react to. 


a common reality

"I know you better then you know yourself." This is the exact quote that was said by a person who was wanting to develop a relationship with another person.  I don't know if there was honesty in that emoting of arrogance.  It seems to be a core philosophy many people embrace.  
The message conveys: I will allow you to be what I know. Stop breathing I will do that for you.
It's possible the tactic was to determine the core value of the other person. In an attempt to provoke a response. It completely shut down the dialog. To some people this maybe considered friendly banter. To others it is controlling and antagonistic. The things that create a neverending defeat.

5/24/2021

a question waiting an answer, or a demand requiring a response

When a group of people can control the group opinion because the group needs a paycheck. It creates an environment. Without integrity the group can fall prey to any number of horrible scenarios. Trying to eke out a living under such circumstances takes a toll on each individual. Day to day it's hardly noticeable. I don't know what the daily dose of misery and dread is required to become unbearable. Most people shut down sensory perceptions and just plow through. Finding plenty of distractions in the constantly moving minutes and hours of the day.  Try calling HR tell them the store managers are self serving and have created a hostile work environment. Even having a stack of examples of bad behavior, your call will make you look anxious. The real issue is that bad behavior is ignored, because it is pushed into the blind spot of get the job done. The company structure is evaluate from the top down. The application interview process hands over your life details. To expect this set up to be fair and reasonable without any oversight ha ha. The fact there is no way to rate human interaction in the workplace means this is a blind spot.  The long poorly lit alleyway just waiting for victims.
Life can seem to fall apart. Any direction you take to orient yourself is illusive. In those times the body spirit package requires a reset. After watching civil unrest around the global. It looks like the reason for the strife was to create a more believable lie. The illusion has been strengthened.

5/21/2021

thems prehistoric innards

 On the rare occasion I encounter a unique and genuine person. I'm talking about the type of person that appears to be from outside the influence of modern life.  It's like the memory of a place.  It is right here where we are but it has become invisible. When a person from there becomes visible to us a realization of that place is familiar. Life prepares people to live in the modern realm, to be greedy, to be envious, to be dominant. All the traits that prevent a robust life experience. Trying to make sense of explanations that don't explain anything. Explanations created by beings with hatred. Why you maybe be wondering would anyone do that. Why would anyone use a tire pump to inflate their ego. An ego with a slow leak. Constantly needing to be reinflated. No attempt to patch the hole. Distracted by watching the pressure gauge is a good enough reason to continue the cycle. Knowing what to expect, and the task of keeping the pressure at the right level. Mesmerized through eternity.

May 11, 2021

She staged a scenerio so she could create high drama and chaos. Once critical mass was reached she tossed in her award winning monologue. It was her quoting herself how she talks about me when I'm not there. It was an audience participation scene which required me to react. After I reacted she danced around with words. Minimizing their evil venom. Before I realized this was actually a confession she blurted out "I apologize." Without stopping she started asking if I accept her apology and just as quick started to demand and criticize me if I wasn't going to accept it. This is her ultimate skill grinding up sentiment, unity, compassion. Expecting it to create peace and harmony.

5/17/2021

 Posturing to create a non existent conflict that demands to be resolved, drains people of an ability to think honestly and connect to truth.


My bad attitude

People trying to create a scenerio that looks genuine. My participation is demanded.  If I want to get more information in a situation like this it wont happen by asking questions. Anything but a yes from me equals my bad attitude.

People trying to corral me in with information.  What is intended to look like a conversation, is the connecting of fence panels. The purpose is for branding, or confinement, of my bad attitude.

The empty words used by manipulators disappear, leaving my bad attitude the only thing anyone notices or remembers. 

Saying things like I tried to talk to her and she is always angry.  Not saying: I provoked her for a month before her bad attitude came out.

She doesn't have any sympathy or compassion. I care deeply about her that is why I provoke her so I can asked her what is wrong.

My bad attitude is a source of entertainment, those who find their enjoyment in it have no interest in an honest human relationship with me. 

My bad attitude is all you can see in me. My bad attitude is the problem you say. 

5/10/2021

No question

Provoke, get reaction, assess quality of reaction, ignore reaction.

Provoke, get reaction, assess quality of reaction, ignore reaction.

Provoke, get reaction, assess quality of reaction, ignore reaction

Provoke, observe, assess, ignore

Provoke, observe, assess, ignore

Provoke, observe, assess, ignore


This is the only means of communication. Obliterates feelings, responsibility. Conversation options are the weather using loads of poetic and descriptive phrases.  All the important things have already happened and written down.