Fake water in real life

To the morons creating the news.  It pains me to watch you flipping like fish on the wooden planks of a pier.  Allow me to toss you into the water.  That's better, you're all wet.  Now swim along.  You can merely pretend to know what unscripted real human life is like.  (In real life) you don't know what that is without a writer, editor, and production staff.